guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
