do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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