you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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