Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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