Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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