capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
