Can i not drive my cunt home
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
