Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
