He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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