It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
