At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
