yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
