I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
