sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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