Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Semen is not good for contacts.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
