You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
