This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
