when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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