I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
