Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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