apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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