Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize