I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Your dad touched me again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
