I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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