The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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