Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
