Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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