Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
