nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
