my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
