and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
