i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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