suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
