My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
