After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
