So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
