dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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