I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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