my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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