I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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