Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
