I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
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