they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
