mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
