Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
