She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
