Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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