She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
