I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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