Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
