how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize