Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
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Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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