I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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