Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
