He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
