Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
