oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
