WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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