Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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