I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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