Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
