Sponge bath it is.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
