Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize