You made me cry and you don't even care
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
