i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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