So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
then he tried to convert me to islam
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
