I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
